30+ Years of Teenage DaughtersHi! My name is Janet Lund. I, like you, am a mom of a teenage girl. Since the moment I laid eyes on her I have been crazy in love with my daughter! But I was scared of the teenage years.Would we make it through them? My career has involved working with hundreds of moms and their daughters. I saw some painful relationships. At the time it wasn’t always clear to me why. I was terrified my relationship would end up like that. That was the last thing I wanted! So from the beginning, it was my mission to have a close connection with my baby girl. A strong enough bond that would not only survive but thrive during the teenage years. Well, we have. But it was not easy. It was hard. I made a lot of mistakes. I learned a lof of things along the way. (Did I mention a lot of mistakes?) Now it’s my mission to help you develop a special bond with your daughter that stays strong even as it weathers the storm of her teenage years.
When Memory Lane Can Feel Like a Cul-de-sac With No Exit
When you reflect back on the early years of your daughter, before her pre-teen or teen years, you remember the joy. You don’t want the heartache of adolescence.
What if it didn’t have to be this way? Hard. Snarky. Full of mood swings.
It is NOT written in stone that moms and teenage daughters have to be at odds with each other.
It CAN get better. And it can start TODAY.
Why I created The Neutral Zone
I, like you, had a good relationship with my daughter when she was a baby. It continued as she grew from a baby to a toddler to a little girl. It was a delight to see her love of life shine each morning when she awoke. My little lady was excited for what each day had in store for her. She loved meeting people, learning new things in school, and running with her imagination while playing at home.
We, of course, had our challenges but besides the “terrible twos” (or in my case, “threes”), life with my little girl was good! But then everything changed. Everything that worked before worked no more.
You, like me, saw it coming though. As the pre-teen and teenage years came along, her happy-go-lucky attitude started to fade. She grew uncertain about herself. She had her own interests and passion get verbally bashed down by kids at school. As time went by her heart grew heavy.
Fun conversations after school evolved into heavy emotional moments. She would have outbursts of frustration, anger, and tears. Our little ice cream dates no longer wiped away the challenges of the day. The harder I tried to help her look on the bright side of life the angrier she got. She seemed almost determined to be angry and see the worst in people and situations. My little sunbeam became hidden more and more by emotional dark clouds.
My daughter and I had many tough days. Lots of misunderstandings, raised voices, and head-butting. It seemed like I could do nothing right. My parenting confidence faded and I was overcome by my own tears of frustration. After a heated disagreement, I would beat myself up. “How could you be so stupid?” “How did you let this happen?” “Where did my sweet daughter go?” “I used to work well with teens at my job, so how come all I ever do is argue with my own daughter?” When I was in the thick of an argument, I felt helpless and hopeless.
Finally, I took some advice from Einstein. He used to say that, “the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over while expecting different results.” I realized it was time to stop and reflect on what I was doing…over and over again. Time for change.
As I said, everything I use to do didn’t work anymore. It was time to change my game plan. I worked at finding new tools for my relationship tool belt. I spent time thinking back on my career, when I worked with parents and teens. I remembered observing what conversations went well between Mom’s and daughters…and which ones didn’t. Several of those gave me insights into the struggles those girls had with their Moms. I went to counseling to get in touch with my own insecurities and discovered how I was getting in my own way of parenting my daughter. Research taught me more about what was going on inside of a teenage girl’s mind and emotional system due to all the hormonal changes a girl experiences. And I also experienced a whole lot of trial and error.
Together, all these things taught me how I could do a better job of mothering my daughter.
TWO CRUCIAL LESSONS IN THE NEUTRAL ZONE
Anxiety is a Joy VampireIt causes us to struggle too hard to say the right thing. So we end up saying too much. And with way too much horsepower. This not only shuts down our daughters, but it is disrespectful to them.
Two Ears Win vs One Mouth
Our teenage daughters need us to stop talking and to start listening. Truly listening, with both of our ears… and our heart. We also need to be patient as she tries to express feelings she has never felt before. Listening is one of the most powerful ways we can tell our daughter, “I love you!”
Why you should care about The Neutral Zone…now
TWO BIG REASONS. TWO REALLY BIG REASONS.
You don’t have much timeWith effort, my daughter and I got our relationship figured out in time. In the midst of a rough teen-day, parenting may seem like an eternity, but when it comes right down to it, there isn’t that much time left in your “child-raising hour glass.” It is important to get a handle on your relationship with your girl, now. They are only officially teens for 7 years. Of those years, if your daughter heads off to college at age 18, you really only have between 5 and 5 1/2 years to have daily impact on her life before she moves out and is living on her own. Time is ticking.
There is too much at stakeWouldn’t it break your heart to know you didn’t do everything you could to create that special bond with your daughter before she moved out? Your daughter needs to know today that your love for her is solid. That you are committed to taking the time to understand what’s important to her. She needs to know you respect her. She needs to know this today, so that she can make happier and healthier choices for herself in the future. Your ultimate job is to help your daughter grow into a mature, happy, healthy, independent young lady. I can help you help your daughter reach that goal! I have put together a special mother-daughter program. It is your ticket to creating your neutral ground, where you and your daughter communicate in honesty and love. I call this “The Neutral Zone.”
The Neutral Zone will…
- Build up your confidence in being a great Mom
- Teach you to calmly walk through an emotionally charged conversation
- Highlight how you can help your daughter better understand herself and her feelings
- Show you how you can truly connect with your daughter, heart-to-heart
- Build a loving relationship with your daughter that will last a lifetime!
The Neutral Zone empowers you…
- To embrace conflict as a curious friend.
- Introduce your daughter to the adventure of inquiring about her own thoughts and feelings…and those of others.
- Explore how to create neutral ground where you can talk with your daughters in honesty and love.
- Celebrate and share your own imperfections with your daughter…and teach her to celebrate her own.
- Reveal the significance of having two ears and one mouth.
- Experience grace and learn to give grace to your daughter even during the hardest of times.
- Learn to be Wonder Woman in your daughter’s eyes, by embracing and empowering yourself!
- Help your daughter discover her own super powers.
- Discover the humongous opportunitites you have to communicate your abundant love for your daughter!
- Take your daughter on a relational adventure and go where you have never gone before.
- Dive into discussions as if on a great exploration, reviewing and sharing thoughts on matters that you both care about.
- Learn to discover and create your own love language, with crystal clear communication.
- Together embrace heart-to-heart sharing from your personal TNZ journals.
- All these things come while you receive the affirmation you deserve for investing in yourself and your daughter.
THE NEUTRAL ZONE INCLUDES:
Conflict is your new BFFIn Session One, we will see conflict in a whole new light. Instead of confronting it with fear, anger, or animosity, you will approach it with curiosity. You will learn to welcome it into your home and embrace it with an attitude of gratitude! We will uncover the importance of being open to sharing and listening to different opinions and ideas. Curiosity will help you better understand yourself and your daughter. It will also be a great tool your daughter can use to explore her emotional reactions to situations, plus equip her to engage in open discussions with others.
Getting gritty and grimyIn Session Two, we will walk step by step through the process of creating a Neutral Zone while in the midst of a tense conversation. Because it is here where true, honest, loving conversation can take place between mothers and daughters. You will also discover that judging yourself with the measuring stick of perfection is not helpful or welcome in the world of parenting. Perfectionism is not a tool to improve but a trap that ensnares the souls of many mothers. It will hinder your ability to love yourself and your daughter as you truly long to do. No perfectionism allowed!
Unleashing your superpowersIn Session Three, we will venture out into new territory! You will learn how you can empower your daughter to reach new heights and go where she has never gone before. You will celebrate her uniqueness by helping her recognize her own gifts, talents and strengths. Pointing out how all these things, put together inside of her, make her the amazing girl she was made to be. Ultimately, you will demonstrate to your daughter it is never too early or too late to explore and try new things. How? By exploring your own individual strengths and undiscovered talents. Leading your girl by growing you!
Turning your love up to 11In Session Four, we will uncover the “Mother-load!” We will dive deep and explore how you can communicate your love, LOUD and clear, to your daughter. Your sweet girl needs to know right here, right now, how much you love her. Together we will uncover the enormous variety of ways you can creatively show your daughter how much you love her. This power-packed session will inspire you to try new things. We will also show you how the simplest tweaks can turn your simple “I love you” gift to your daughter into an unforgettable moment that she will cherish forever.
Training sessions you controlWe understand. It is so hard to keep up. The last thing you need is something new to jam into your already packed schedule, right? That’s why The Neutral Zone is available at your pace. Our training format is:
- These training sessions are available to you at whatever pace you need them. This program is all about you.
- There is no time crunch. You have access to this program for a lifetime.
- Free of limitations, you can watch the sessions as many times as you like.
- Because we know that moms have a ridiculous number of things to keep track of, every session has a workbook to take notes in during each power packed session.
- Since this program is really a life changing adventure, each workbook has a journal for you to record your journey.
- In addition, your daughter has a sneak peek packet that invites her on your adventure. Plus, her own journal where she can share her thoughts and feelings on the important topics covered.
- Set aside 60 minutes to watch each session, reflect, and begin the work in your workbook and journal.
The Neutral Zone also includes:
Matching Neutral Zone guidesThese guides serve as workbooks for you to easily follow along with your training. When you complete the TNZ course, you will have a four-part workbook that covers the entire program! Not only will these help you maintain a loving, vibrant connection with your daughter, they will empower you to help other moms in struggle. You go, girl!
THE NEUTRAL ZONE COMES WITH ALL THESE BONUSES!
- This Loving Mom’s Neutral Zone Workbooks
- This Loving Mom’s Neutral Zone Journals
- My Beautiful Daughter’s The Neutral Zone Companion Packet
- The Mother-Daughter Neutral Zone Covenant & Guide
- “Hello, Beautiful!” Letter
- This Loving Mom’s Neutral Zone VICTORY Journal
- The Neutral Zone Sessions 1-4 Audio Files (MP3)
- $197 This Loving Mom’s Neutral Zone Workbooks
- $97 This Loving Mom’s Neutral Zone JournalS
- $197 My Beautiful Daughter’s TNZ Companion Packet
- $97 The Mother-Daughter Neutral Zone Covenant & Guide
- $97 “Hello, Beautiful!” Letter
- $47 This Loving Mom’s Neutral Zone VICTORY Journal
- $197 The Neutral Zone Sessions 1-4 Audio Files (MP3)
- +$697 for the five TNZ training sessions