Why I created The Neutral Zone

The Back Story

I, like you, had a good relationship with my daughter when she was a baby. It continued as she grew from a baby to a toddler to a little girl. It was a delight to see her love of life shine each morning when she awoke. My little lady was excited for what each day had in store for her. She loved meeting people, learning new things in school, and running with her imagination while playing at home.

Of course, we had our challenges! But besides the “terrible twos” (or in my case, “threes”), life with my little girl was good! Until everything changed…. Everything that worked before worked no more.

You, like me, saw it coming though. As the pre-teen and teenage years came along, her happy-go-lucky attitude started to fade. She grew uncertain about herself. She had her own interests and passion get verbally bashed down by kids at school. As time went by her heart grew heavy.

What used to be fun conversations after school evolved into heavy emotional moments. She would have outbursts of frustration, anger, and tears. Our little ice cream dates no longer wiped away the challenges of the day. The harder I tried to help her look on the bright side of life the angrier she got. She seemed almost determined to be angry and see the worst in people and situations. My little sunbeam became hidden more and more by emotional dark clouds.

The Problem Deepened

My daughter and I had many tough days. Lots of misunderstandings, raised voices, and head-butting. In other words, it seemed like I could do nothing right. My parenting confidence faded and I was overcome by my own tears of frustration. After a heated disagreement, I would beat myself up. “How could you be so stupid?” “How did you let this happen?” “Where did my sweet daughter go?” “I used to work well with teens at my job, so how come all I ever do is argue with my own daughter?” When I was in the thick of an argument, I felt helpless and hopeless.